(me in the past six months- a true CAMILLE-EON.)
Looking back on the past year, it seems as though the months have sped by so quickly, and I’ve been standing still all this time waiting on the platform- watching the speeding trains rush past, wondering when my chance is to get on, and move forward.
This afternoon I realized that if I am going to really make a commitment and go to Taiwan, I can’t sit around and wait for it to happen- I have to get a plane ticket and go- NOW.
Earlier in the day I had encountered someone who I hadn’t seen in a while who, upon seeing me, asked what my plans would be for the near future.
“I think I am moving back to Taiwan,” I replied.
“Oh really- when?” was the response- surprised, and intrigued.
(A photo I took of Chaing Kai Shek Memorial Hall, Taipei City.)
Before I was even fully aware of what I was saying, somewhere in my subconscious I had looked past the self-doubt and fear of trying to begin again in another place and just let go. When I returned home, I opened my email to find schools I had contacted in Taipei for potential jobs responding that they could not wait any longer than just a week from now for me to arrive before hiring another teacher, as school was promptly starting, and I would need to meet them in person.
It all led to the same thing-I would have to leave soon, very soon. From that point I began looking up flights- and if tomorrow morning I can book it with no problems, I should be flying out by next Tuesday, and in Taipei City to stay by Wednesday of next week.
Typing it out now feels invigorating, and as I look at the four snapshots (above) taken of me throughout the past few months I realize that this is exactly what I need- change! Constant change.
I know those who are content to be grounded, stable, held firm in one spot and know their place and their standing, but sometimes I find that the very same things that comfort others in sameness and familiarity terrify me and it is the unknown that comforts my frazzled nerves. And I suppose that why I find being completely uprooted in a city that presents challenges at every corner to be so exciting, and the only way that I can settle in one spot happily without feeling restless to move on to somewhere new.
Me playing with a sparkler in Hualien, Taiwan, 2010
Looking through my photos, I found this picture of myself with a sparkler. It was captioned, “celebrating…everything!” This photo stood at that moment as the perfect reminder that that really hasn’t been how I have been living lately, and I want those sparks of excitement that I felt when I was there again- more than anything.
Like me, I know that Taipei will be constantly changing- and always presenting new discoveries, new difficulties and opportunities. And I will be there, eager, and ready discover them, and hungry for the thrill.
(…and for the steamed buns!)
Will you follow me there?